New Blog!

A while ago, Nellie and I were talking about all the blogs that exist in the blogosphere.  Many are from very creative people with outstanding abilities.  There are also a large number authored from the perspective of one sex or the other.  Although I'm certain they exist, I'm not sure there are many blogs that are co-authored by a husband and wife.  We decided to start the blog Share the Pants (sharethepants.blogspot.com).  Nellie came up with the name after we threw around some other ideas.  The thought process was that we both like to be in charge and both have mild contol-freak personalities.  Our marriage has been a give and take process of learning to pick our battles and learning to see things from each others perspectives.  If you asked us who wears the pants in our house, we would both admit that we each wear shorts.  Since WeBothWearShorts.Blogspot.com was both weird and unavailable (just a joke, didn't even check...maybe it's a nice blog about a couple who wear shorts or something--check it out, let me know), we settled on Share the Pants.  If I'm honest, it's not my favorite name, but that's because I feel like I'm selling out on some of my masculinity by allowing the name--but isn't that what the blog is about--not always winning and having our way?

We're planning on sporadically adding posts, because we're fun and spontaneous and setting a schedule just wouldn't work.  We might even have my entries be in blue text with hers in white.  I don't know.  Who knows?  I hope it's a great blog.  I even hope that I don't allow this one to die.  As I read some of the older entries it's like reading my journal.  My very public and embarrassing journal.  My dad asked me if Perkins Family Chaos was dead and you know what?  I hope not.

I love my life.  I have the best wife anyone could ever hope to have.  As a 22 year-old who wasn't old enough to grow full sideburns, I was lucky enough to make the best decision of my life.  Nellie is very nearly everything to me.  She encourages me through silly projects and ambitions, supports me in doing what I need to in order to support our family.  She is beautiful, charitable and down-right sexy! I have a son who is wise beyond his years, so generous and full of empathy and love.  I can always count on him to do the right thing and I love his guts. I have a now 6 year old daughter who has the life of the party personality.  She is sweet and loving as well.  She often asks me to bend my shaved head down so she can kiss me on the top of my head and it melts my heart every time.  I have an adorable two year old daughter who grows more stubborn every day.  She is darling and loves Elvis both for his looks and music.  She can always make me smile and she will literally jump around the house for hours at a time.  I am so blessed to have the wonderful home life that others dream of.  There is nothing fake about it--I am truly, madly, deeply in love with my family.

I love my Savior Jesus Christ.  He is the rock and foundation of my life.  I am wholly reliant on his grace and mercy.  I am grateful that I can be forgiven when I make mistakes and don't live up to what I know.  I love the Bible and Book of Mormon--reading them brings me tremendous peace and perspective in the trials of everyday life.  I love my church community and all the wonderful people in my neighborhood.  Last Saturday we came home from vacation expecting jungle grass in our front yard, instead we found two of our wonderful neighbors cleaning up after having mowed said jungle.  Our life is full of tender mercies from The Lord.  I love to be in the temple, I feel so blessed to have such a sacred edifice so close to us.  I love to worship and have a break from the world.  I love the pioneers who went before me that guided me to become a member of The Church of Jesus-Christ of Latter-day Saints.  Although the church is full of imperfect people of whom I am chief, I have felt the Holy Spirit witness to me on thousands of occasions that it is the true church.  The church helps me to be the father, the husband and the man I should be.

Of course I had the best mom and dad a kid could have, I follow the best college football team (BYU Cougars), and I have a cute house and awesome road bike etc.  I don't think anyone really visits this blog anymore so I'm mostly just writing this to the void.  It feels good to put it out there though, and that's one thing I love about blogging.

'Til we meet again.

Last of the Twenties

Hello world, it's been a while. How are you doing? I for one am great. Life has been chaotic as usual, but that is not necessarily a bad thing. Chaos must mean that something is happening right? My dad sent me a text a little while ago asking if the blog was dead. I informed him that it was just sleeping. Unfortunately, I am not consistent in my blogging, but I decided after reading a couple of my older posts that I really like to review it. It's better than a journal because I tend to get dramatic in my personal journal entries. When I edit with the possibility of people reading, I like the result.

I recently turned 29 (January 7) and my sister Britt was kind enough to remind me that I am now in the last year of my twenties. To be honest, I don't mind getting older. Maybe I will in the future, but for now I feel pretty good about my life to this point. When I look back at the last ten years, I am amazed at the things that have happened. I feel like I've accomplished a lot of the things that were important to me. I've heard it said that the mistake most people make is over-estimating what can be done in a year and under-estimating what can be done in ten. In the past ten years I have been able to: serve a mission, find and marry my eternal companion Nellie, buy a home, get my degree, establish a career path, and we started our family with two wonderful children. There are many other wonderful things that have happened but I'd better stop or I'll feel like I'm bragging.

I hope that when I take note of what has happened ten years from now that I'll be able to have accomplished the goals that I have set for myself right now.

A couple of weeks ago I was sitting on the stand during our testimony meeting. I had seen Janelle struggling with Eva in the congregation and was feeling a little guilty. For the last 10 months I have been able to really pay attention to what was going on in the meetings without the distractions of Scott and Eva. Perhaps cognizant of this thought, Eva communicated with Nellie that she wanted to sit with a sister in our ward that sits toward the front. With only ten minutes left in the meeting she decided to let her go. When Eva bypassed this sister and climbed the stairs to the stand, Nellie was powerless. Eva made a beeline for the organ where she usually "helps" the organist with the postlude music. Since the meeting wasn't over however, she was stuck with me. For the next ten minutes I pulled out all the stops trying to get her to sit quietly. I let her play with my ring, I let her draw, I even did my best to keep her finger out of her nose to no avail. When the meeting finally ended I had a renewed appreciation for all that my wonderful Nellie goes through, usually without a word of complaint.

I love my life, and I love my wife. We'll see when I make it back to blog again.

Running and wisdom...

I decided that one of the reasons I like to write a blog is to expound on things that I might not otherwise write about. I like being able to look back at old entries and see what I was thinking back then.

Last night I went out for a run. I don't know why I wanted to run, I was actually pretty tired...I worked half a day at work, attended a wedding at the church, and then had done yard work until after the sun had gone to bed. After that, I went and made some copies and went to the grocery store with my wife. By the time I got home, it was nearly 11 pm. Instead of getting ready for bed, I undressed myself enough to go running (I say undressed because if you had any idea about how small my shorts were....I'll spare you any pictures here).

The moment my feet hit the pavement I knew why I was running. Sometimes things just feel so right. I started out running down a dark street with no signs of life on it. Most of the windows were dark and I felt like I was alone. Several points along the way I was by myself...no cars to honk at me and scare me, no people to look at me, no sun sapping me energy. It was just myself, the moon, and the pavement. The cool night air was fantastic! I closed my eyes and started counting every other step...1...2...3...4...I got up to 20 before realizing that I had almost run off the other side of the road. I didn't realize just how much my eyes help in running.

As I ran the stresses of my day just melted away. The sore back I had from yard work just loosened up, the stiff legs were gone. I tend to let my mind wander when I run, and come up with a lot of solutions that way. It's amazing how problems get solved when you take your conscious mind off of them. I finished my run, and was tempted to tack another few miles on because it felt so good. Times like these remind me why I run, and keep going back to it.

Running is sometimes the thing that takes the kinks out of my mental hose. Sometimes it is the thing that presents a huge challenge. There have been times when the next step seemed pretty tough, but taking a step beyond what you thought you could is amazing. I don't know if any of this makes sense, but I think that running makes me a better husband and father. If not for the mental health benefits, there are some just plain cardiovascular benefits I have been told. I love running, funny that it's taken me years to realize just how much I do. Running is the best.

Changes...and Mistakes

Well, it's been a while since I've made any entries on my blog. In my last post I mentioned that I might write about change being constant. It seems that when life gets comfortable and hasn't changed in a while, that is when you should look for change. Change can be uncomfortable, but it's really our best friend. Personally, I want to be a better person in the future than I am right now, I want to be experienced and well-rounded. None of those things can happen if I stay in a rut and don't change anything. I can't remember where I've heard it before, but the only difference between a rut and a grave is a few feet.

When last I commented on change, it was because I'd been in to visit my Stake President earlier in the week. He had extended the calling to serve in my ward's new bishopric as the second counselor. I was also experiencing some changes in my work environment. Where I had been on the same account for five and a half years, I was moving to a new account. These two changes both excited and scared me. The work change I wasn't too worried about, I figured I would get it under control with a little help from my friends (not any reference to the Beatles....just so you know). The change in my calling was a little bit more intimidating. In fact, when I first began serving in the bishopric it was the fourth calling I'd been in, in as many months. I was in the Elders quorum presidency, the assistant scoutmaster and deacons quorum adviser, and then the YM president.

On March 22 I was ordained a High Priest at the ripe old age of 28. Immediately after I attended the Draper Temple dedication, while waiting for it to start I started dozing, to which Nellie reminded me that I'd only been a HP for an hour and was not yet allowed to sleep in meetings. That made me laugh.

Since the changes have now settled a little, I feel like I can evaluate what has happened to me. To be honest, I really really love serving in the bishopric. I know many people who wouldn't admit that, but it's a wonderful calling. I'm grateful that I'm not the bishop, that is a job with a lot of blessings, but a lot of sacrifice also. I serve with two great men who are constantly teaching me, whether they realize it or not. I feel like I have gotten to see a lot of the very great things about the church and it's members. I feel like I have been granted opportunities to grow already, and I expect more growth as I accept more of a load on my shoulder. Life is great.

Now on to the mistakes portion of our entry:

Mistakes are funny things. If you are like me, you make a lot of them, again if you are like me, you probably aren't always able to laugh about them immediately. Let me tell you a tell of mistakes....count along with me if you will. About a month ago I sent my wife and kids down to Phoenix for my sister-in-law Katies wedding. Nellie, Scott and Eva flew down on Monday morning and I caught up with them flying in on Friday. Whenever Nellie is out of town I like to take on a project to keep myself out of trouble and I thought I would be able to take care of finishing the laundry room in that time span (mistake #1) The laundry room has these awful walnut colored cabinets straight out of the 70's, as well as some chipped up and missing tile (from a project I started before I realized it was stupid (mistake from the past, but still #2 if you're counting)) it also had an entire wall that was missing for the most part from when we moved in. Really, the laundry room was the last bastian of a lot of work to be done.

Nellie and I had been to a parade home several years ago, and saw this home that had bright candy-apple red cabinets in it. I thought it looked really sharp and so, I talked Janelle into letting me pursue this on our cabinets (mistake #3, I really should have listened when my wife was unsure). I spent some time picking out paint at Home Depot, afraid of getting something that was too red, and ended up looking like magenta, I picked out a color called Flame Red (mistake #4). On the chip it really looked like an orange, but I reasoned that across a larger area it would look just right red (#5). When they mixed the paint the small dot on the top of the can did nothing to make me feel any better about the color, but I proceeded (#6).

When I finally began spraying the cupboards with our paint gun, guess what? They really looked orange! Now I'm not talking some subdued tone, I'm talking Home Depot orange, or road sign orange...did you know nothing rhymes with orange? Instead of stopping, I continued (#7). (On the cupboards...long story short...Nellie had the great idea of rubbing a walnut stain on it and then off....darkened them up nicely, more burt-orange now and I actually like them...they seem to be growing on Nell).

On the other side of the room, I added sheetrock to the wall and then proceeded to mount an anchorless shelf above the washer and dryer (#8,9,10...you'll see). When I flew down to Phoenix, I had a half-finished laundry room. I'd laid the tile and it was fine, I'd fixed up the holes in the wall and it was paint ready, and the cupboards were finished for the most part. Now fast forward a month...

Yesterday, I moved the dryer in order to finish prepping the wall and to add a u bend in my drainage to the sewer. When I moved the dryer, I noticed mold growing in my new wall...just a little bit on the bottom. Concerned, I began cutting into my new wall. Along the way I nicked a wire that tripped the breaker and turned off my light (minor mistake...but #11 still). As I cut up into the wall...Nellie turned on the sink upstairs and I noticed more water dripping down. Finally I got up to where my shelf had been and guess what? I had drilled through it when I was hanging my shelve (#8) I'd also drilled not once, but twice through a pipe that carried exhaust upstairs and out the roof (#9 and 10). When I showed Nellie, she just laughed...and I laughed and then I got to work fixing it. Fortunately my father was willing to help me with my plumbing so a short trip to the harware store and everything is working just fine.

Before I get finished with my laundry room, I will probably find a way to make more mistakes, but the biggest mistake of all would be to get too serious. Life is funny, mistakes are funny...life goes on.

This is a long post, but that is what I've been up to...hope your life is great...I sure love mine!

right here? Oh that is mistake 8, 9, and 10

The Zoo

Last Saturday we took our two adorable kids to the zoo. We try to go the zoo every couple of months because it's free and fun. Okay, we have a pass, but it still feels free since you don't have to pay every time. As zoo days go, this was one of the best. The weather was fantastic, not too cold, but also not too hot--just really pleasant. There were enough people there that it didn't feel desolate, but not enough to make me feel crazy. The animals were active and about...the elephants were cruising around, the cougars and bears were both up and about. Even the giraffes were exciting! Scott and Eva both seemed interested in the animals which is an improvement. J. Scott generally wants to go right to the playground, while Eva hasn't previously seemed interested in the animals all that much.

In the end though, the train ride and the playground were still the highlight. Scott figured out how to hang on the the monkey rings by himself, and Eva conquered her fear of the slide. All in all, it was a really great day at the zoo. That's what we did last week...exciting huh?

Possible topic of next post? Change is constant....

Reptile Night!

Monday night we took our kids to the Bean Museum at BYU for family home evening. They were having a reptile show, and I thought it would be fun for us to go and find out more about our reptile friends. Nellie, who isn't really a fan of snakes told me she wouldn't sit within twenty-five feet of a snake, but she reluctantly agreed to go (At the museum they have an art show going on right now, and a couple of people we like a lot had had pieces in it, so that tipped the scales in my favor).

We got there just a few minutes before the show and got a padded bench on the front row which was nice because immediately after another 40-50 people showed up and many of them didn't get to sit down. The show was a lot of fun, our host was like the crocodile hunter, in fact I would label him Croc Hunter jr. He was really good at keeping the kids attention, and I actually learned quite a bit. First he brought out a tortoise and told us about the differences between turtles and tortoises. Next he brought out a large monitor lizard and reminded us that most animals are intimidated by humans. J Scott's favorite part was probably when Croc Hunter jr. told us that if a monitor was threatened enough he would rip you up and defecate in your wounds. Of course he didn't laugh until he asked me what the word meant and, being an honest dad, I told him. Eva was really cute and fascinated by the animals, but her highlight came when she wriggled from Nellie's lap and proceeded to back herself up into the lap of the girl sitting on the ground by us. It was really cute, it was also funny when a moment later she hypocritically shushed the girl with her little finger over her lips.

J. Scott got to help hold a huge snake skin, and after that Nellie had to take Eva for a walk for some reason. We got to see a couple of snakes and I learned that many of the fears we hold about snakes are based on myths. Croc Hunter jr. tried to demonstrate a snake chasing him, but snakes don't chase people. He also told us that in areas of America where they have rattlesnake roundups and kill a bunch of snakes are areas that have the highest incidences of hantavirus. Apparently it messes up an ecosystem if you take away animals that eat disease-spreading mice.

After the presentation was over, both Eva and J. Scott got to pet the snakes and the monitor lizard. J. Scott was fascinated by the feel of the snake and kept going back to touch it. Nellie was close enough to snap some shots. Eva's favorite was the monitor, because the monitor kept spitting out it's forked tongue and touching her hand with it. She giggled and didn't seemed the least bit frightened.

On the way home, we talked about animals and the blessings they are to us. We talked about how they gave us food, materials for clothing, and I forgot to talk about the fertilizer they provide us with! It was a lot of fun, I think we'll do the rest of the museum soon.

Normalcy=Boring? Maybe Not

I love my life. If you've read this blog for very long I think that's clear. I have a great life and have been blessed to have a wonderful wife and two kids who amaze me! Despite that, sometimes I feel like I have a boring life. Not that I am bored by it, but that it's not exciting to talk to people about.

You know the situation: you run into an old buddy or relative and they ask "what have you been up to?" My answer usually consists of "oh, I'm married and have two kids and I work and...(nothing too out of the ordinary goes here)." At times I feel like my life has been too predictable and vanilla. But guess what? I love vanilla! My life is awesome because it's free from a lot of drama. I know a lot of people who thrive on drama. It seems that if no one is upset with them, or if they aren't furious with someone that life isn't worth living.

For example...what did I do this week? I worked...a lot, went to the Draper Temple open house, and ChuckaRama, I installed a ceiling fan and helped my wife just a little bit. I made my first ever calzone and figured out that my vacuum has been broken for a while and I didn't realize it soon enough. Now, that could all add up to boring. For me? I love it. I love life.

It comes back to a principle that first started to make sense to me when I was on my mission. I began to realize that a life isn't made up of dramatic big moments, life is an accumulation of little things. So when I wrestle with Scott for fifteen minutes, that is a small deposit made in the bank of being the dad I want to be. When I take the time to do the dishes, or turn off a basketball game to talk to my wife, that is a deposit in the bank of being the husband I want to be. All around me there are opportunities to put deposits into the bank of being who I want to be. It is rare that there are huge deposits put into any bank...but over time, being consistent...that is where the growth takes place.

Understanding that my life doesn't have to be one dramatic step after another reassures me that I really am living the life that I want. I hope when all is said and done, that those around me that I love can see the big picture of my life. It often isn't until you stand on top of the mountain that you really understand how far each little step after another has brought you.

Does my life seem pretty normal? I'll admit it does. Is my life boring? Absolutely not.